Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
