they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize