Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
