were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Randomize
