did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ketchup is God's man juice
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize