C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I wish i was in the wii world.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize
