So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
