I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
