i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
