Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize