Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I am one with the molecules
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
