We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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