Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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