I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
