I skipped work to stalk him.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
