I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
These tits shall not be calmed
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
