before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
