Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
