does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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