This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
