So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
