Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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