So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
