I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
