The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Someone signed my nipple.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
