I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize
