Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
