there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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