Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
