im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
