Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
