I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
