I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
operation have a gay friend backfired
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
