Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
