I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I will die if light touches me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
