awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
