At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
