hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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