I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
