Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
