i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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