I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
