my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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