I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
where are you?
Hypothermia
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
