Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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