did you get engaged???
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
