carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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