Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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