At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We got so high we made milksteak
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
