apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
