As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
