Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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