It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Randomize
