Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
