I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
