At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
