just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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