wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Randomize
