sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
