Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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