you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
