weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
