do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
